One of the greatest screenwriters of all time is Academy Award winner William Goldman. His credits read like the list of AFI’s Best Movies of All-Time. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” “All the President’s Men,” “The Princess Bride,” “Misery,” “Maverick,” “Chaplin,” “Absolute Power,” etc.  And his book, “Adventures in the Screen Trade” is still one of the Industry’s most popular.

I’ve had the pleasure of hearing Mr. Goldman speak on a few occasions at different conferences, and his stories are still fascinating, engaging and oftentimes mind-boggling. But the biggest advice he always gives is that “nobody knows anything” and that “there are no rules.” And while this may be true for a man of Mr. Goldman’s stature…it’s not true for you.

Mr. Goldman and other A-List writers can make their own rules. They can demand not to be re-written, or demand that only certain level executives give them notes, or that their agent demand a million dollar payday. For them, there are no rules. Because not only have they already broken in, but they’ve made it to the top.

But you can’t buck the system until you’re a part of it – a successful part of it.

When you’re a struggling screenwriter just starting out and trying to get read for the first time, you gotta play the odds…and you gotta stick to the rules. The basic rules of format and structure, the rules of what sells and what doesn’t (which you can pick up by reading the trades and reading what’s selling), the rules of what to pitch at a conference and what not to (don’t pitch period dramas, Hollywood insider stories, sci-fi epics, or your own true story), the rules of how to contact a producer or agent, the rules of following up with those contacts (don’t call or email incessantly or nag), etc.

If you believe that “nobody knows anything,” then you are basically saying that a trillion dollar business is run by luck. And that YOU, the first time screenwriter, know better than everyone else. And that is an attitude that will ensure that you’ll be looking in from the outside for a long time to come.

Studios, agents, producers, and even media analysts know what works. Are they wrong sometimes? Of course! Are there projects that sell even though they should be unsellable? Absolutely. Are there projects that bomb when they should be no-brainer hits? You bet! But you have to play the odds when you’re starting out. You have to write something that reads as professional and you need to write something that could generally be sellable – horror, thriller, action or comedy.

Now I’m not saying you should play it safe, creatively. Or that you should mask your own voice as a writer. And yes, when it comes to breaking into the business, everyone has a different story to tell. However, I would say that the majority of the “breaking in” stories I hear sound eerily familiar. Usually something like this…”I wrote my screenplay and I knew one of my old college roommates worked for a production company (or agency/manager/studio) and so I asked him to give it a read. He loved it, shot it up the flagpole, his boss loved it, and I landed my first agent (or option).”

That’s how it happens MOST of the time…one referral, one connection to the business, one friend on the inside that they trust. Mixed with some good timing and some luck (yes, it does play a part), and BAM – you’re in. This might make it seem like there are no rules, but indeed that referral connection is rule number one – it’s all about who you know. It’s about networking and knowing the right people in the right places at the right time.

Are the rules changing? Yes, they are. In the land of YouTube, the content creator is King. Nowadays, it’s much more common for Hollywood to reach out to new talent instead of them reaching out to Hollywood. But you need to do something worth reaching out for. And it has to be something that tells executives that not only do you have an original voice, but that you understand what can sell and what can connect with a broad group of people. So if 200 people have viewed your video, that’s not good enough - if 2 MILLION have, you’re getting warmer.

With the internet, many of the old rules have been modified, but that doesn’t mean the rules are non-existent.   So, with all due respect to Mr. Goldman - and he is due a great deal of it - I believe that his quotes should be amended to “nobody knows EVERYTHING” and “there are some rules.”

And understanding them could be your key to Hollywood.

Whether we are meeting a new writer at a pitchfest or in a meeting or technologically like through VPF, the biggest fears that every development executive have are these: is this person going to play nice? Is this person speaking to me going to be someone that I am want to deal with for the next 1-5 years of my life? If I give this person my card, is he or she going to abuse it?

Now I have listened to thousands of pitches and met with hundreds of writers, and for the most part, they were all great. But I’d say that out of 2500 pitches, I’ve had about 25 writers that just didn’t know how to play nice. Yes, that’s only about 1%, which doesn’t sound like a lot. But I’d like to get that number down to zero. So I wanted to go through what it means to play nice:

1.      You’re going to respect the pass. If you have pitched me (whether in person, or over the net) and I politely pass and do not ask for the script, you need to take that as the answer. While I always admire persistence, there’s a thin line between it and being pushy or annoying. There’s probably a reason I passed – whether it’s the writing or it’s something we are developing already or it’s just not the genre we are looking for, etc. - you asking 3 more times or begging is not going to change my mind. It’s only going to reinforce the pass.
2.     If you have my card, you’re not going to call every day or every week or even every month to pitch a new idea or re-pitch an old one because you’ve made changes.  Do not pitch the same project to me more than once unless you have done a complete page one rewrite. And never pitch it more than twice.
3.      If you don’t like the response you get, you’re not going to send off an angry email telling me how development executives are evil and stupid. I’ve received hate mail from my blogs and my responses to a pitch, but does anyone think the best way to get a second chance is by insulting me? Come on. If you can’t play like adults, go back to sitting at the kids table.
4.     You’re not going to give out my information to your whole writing group or class or every writer you know. You worked to get that card - they didn’t.
5.     No MyStalking or FaceStalking. Just because we had a lovely 5 minute conversation and I asked to read your script, that doesn’t mean I want to be BFFs. It doesn’t mean I want to add you to my friends list on Facebook or Myspace or any other site. Yes, those sites are for networking. But, I don’t accept random writers I don’t know personally (or who aren’t professional famous writers of course) on my Facebook because I don’t want to be pitched through those sites. And neither does any other exec, and there have been a rash of Facebook queries in the last few months. This is not the right way.

So – why DON’T I just take 5 minutes and read the first 10 pages? It’s not that big a deal right? Well, it’s simple math actually. Let’s say I get pitched 100 scripts in any given day at a pitchfest. Maybe – MAYBE – I’ll ask for 10 scripts. That means I’m passing on 90. If for all those passes – scripts I wasn’t interested in – I had to read 10 page, that would take roughly 450 minutes. That’s almost 8 hours and that’s not including the time it would take to email all those writers back (another 2 hours). Why and how could I spend 10 hours reading 10 pages of scripts that didn’t interest me to begin with? 

Execs all realize how hard you’ve worked on your scripts. And every writer thinks that if they can just get someone to read 10 pages, they will love it. And while our opinions are completely subjective and occasionally wrong, they do come with at least a few years of experience and a different perspective from yours. And we can often tell within a 5 minute pitch – even without reading the script – how that script is going to read. Writers hate when I say that because they think it somehow devalues their talent or their hard work. Perhaps it does, even though it’s not meant to. But I am right 85% of the time and I like those odds.
You all remember the golden rule of the sandbox. Well - here’s the golden rule of screenwriters – pitch unto others as you’d like others to pitch unto you.

Here are the ten films I enjoyed the most in 2009 with two runner-ups as well: 

“500 Days of Summer” – I liked this film because it was a love story told from a young man’s perspective.

“The Hurt Locker” – I loved everything about this movie, especially the scene where the soldiers get so hot and tired from having to stay in one position for hours.

“Taken” – I think this action movie moved extremely well.

 “I Love You Man” – I thought this one managed to turn a sort of non-problem (not having any male friends) into a pretty engaging premise.

“Sugar” – I thought this was an authentic and fairly compelling look at the minor leagues.

“The Taking of Pelham 123” – I thought Denzel Washington and John Travolta were both awesome in this tense suspense film.

“Bruno” – Not as funny for me as “Borat,” but I feel it’s worth the rental if you haven’t seen it yet.

“The Proposal” – I came in with low expectations and laughed throughout this film.

“Paranormal Activity” – I’m a sucker for most anything paranormal and this was no exception.

“The Blind Side” – I cried like fifty times during this movie.

Runner-ups:

“Last Chance Harvey” – I thought this was a very well-acted and cute little romance.
“Defiance” – I was engaged from start to finish on this one.

Please let me know what you think via twitter at www.twitter.com/dkzproductions.  Thanks!

It’s the end of the year, so in the spirit of giving, I wanted to present you with the 5 things I hear most often from writers…and why they’re not the things you should be saying.

1) “No, no, you don’t understand…Mine’s really good!”  I will never believe a writer who says this until the day that I hear a writer say, “No, no, you don’t understand…my script is horrible!” I would hope that you think your script is really good – if you don’t, then you’re wasting your time pitching it! Use descriptive and active words to describe your project, not general blanket amateurish statements. Be specific – what is it exactly that makes your project interesting and different.

2) “How do I get an agent?” No matter how many classes or seminars I teach or listen to, no matter how many articles I read or write, this is STILL the first question out of every writer’s mouth. Why are you wondering how to get an agent when you’ve only written one script or you’re still on your first draft? Cart…Horse. But right here, right now, I will answer this question so you never have to ask it again. There are 3 ways to find an agent.  One - be related to, or friends with, an agent. Or know someone who is friends with an agent. The best way to get an agent’s attention is by referral and knowing someone is key to making it in this business. This is a small world so chances are someone you know can connect you somehow.  Second, submit your script to a bunch of prestigious national contests – and win – or at least be a finalist. And keep winning, especially contests where the prize is a meeting with an agent or getting your script read by the town. If you’re a quarterfinalist, that’s not enough to get an agent’s attention. And third, go to pitchfests and meet with agents and hopefully get read or send queries through services like Virtual Pitch Fest and see what happens.  But no matter which way you choose, make sure you have at least 2 or 3 FINISHED scripts before looking for an agent because a good agent won’t look at you if you only have one script. A manager might, but an agent won’t because it will take too long for them to make money from you.

3) “How do I sell my script and how much can I get paid?” You can’t, and nothing. If you are a first time writer with no credits, no representation, no track record and no connections, you will not sell your first script. Probably not the second either. It takes A LONG time, on average, to sell your first script if you’re breaking in from the outside. More likely, you might option your script, but if it’s your first, chances are it will be a free option. If you got into screenwriting to make a quick buck, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

4) “How many drafts will I have to do until it’s done?” As many as it takes. You’re the writer…keep writing. It’s great experience! If a producer or studio has kept you on a project long enough to do ten drafts, you’re LUCKY. They could have replaced you after the first draft. Take it as a compliment. There is a limit though, depending on who is attached to the project. Somewhere around fifteen drafts, you should be asking your producer what the timeline he or she foresees for going out with the project.

5) “How do I know if my project is commercial or sellable?” Do your research. Read the trades. See what’s selling, who is looking for what, what pitches and genres are working and doing well at the box office, see what types of projects first time writers are finding success with, etc., etc. There are always exceptions to the rules, but doing your research will give you a good idea as to what can sell. Generally, comedies and thrillers are the biggest sellers, followed by horror and action. Drama and period pieces pull up the rear.

Now stop asking these questions and start asking the most important question there is – “How can I make my script better?” Good luck and keep writing! And Happy Holidays everyone!             

I’m pretty sure it all started with Perrier. You see, I’m old enough to remember the good old days when you could sit down at a restaurant and were just given tap water instead of having to know if you want tap, flat, bottled, sparkling, and with or without ice.

It’s been reported that Anxiety disorders are on the rise, so much so, that we can all now watch a show on A & E about OCD (“Obsessed”) because there’s so many of us who have it.  But I don’t believe it’s because the economy’s down, or because we have “issues.” Rather, I think it’s because we have too many choices in just making what used to be simple decisions, and instead, are constantly bombarded with never-ending possibilities all the time.

My grandfather used to say “We hat wahl, der hat knal,” which in German, means something like “whoever has choices, has discomfort.” And there are Buddhist priests who believe that having too many alternatives is the cause of all sorts of trouble. And let’s not forget the theory that fascism makes people feel comfortable precisely because their freedom is limited. Now before you go all Rush Limbaugh on me, I’m in no way advocating for a change in our system of government. I’m just making an observation that those of us who are ADD or what-have-you are so because the world has too many things to do in it.

Let’s take music. It used to be that if you wanted to listen to music that you could turn on your car radio, play a tape, a record, or maybe listen to your walkman. Now there are MP3 players, cds, limewire, about ten different kinds of I-pods, cell phones, youtube, free radio (the kind that still plays the baseball games), internet radio, and satellite radio (the kind that costs money but that we hear when we go to the salon).

And then there’s TV. We don’t just have bunny ears, basic cable, or super-duper cable; now we have DirectTV and gadgets that somehow record your show while the show is playing so that you can pause it and then continue watching it—live. And let’s not forget that before we can watch anything, we have to pick the right remote control.

I don’t even know what to do now if I want to talk to a friend about things like this. As most of us have both a cell phone and a landline, I first need to remember when I should call each one. Then I need to figure out whether or not to call my showbiz friends by the names they were actually born with, or their stage ones. Then there’s emailing (and most of my people have several of these addresses), texting, instant messaging, leaving a message, not leaving a message, twittering, myspaceing and facebooking. I feel bad if I actually have to call someone. And sometimes when I feel sad because I’ve made the mistake of calling one of my friends and bothering them, I want to eat. But then I have to decide if the food I’m eating is actually good for me, and if I want something called “organic” food or not (By the way, what was I eating, before I was eating organic food?).

And what happens if I make something to eat and then want to throw the food and its packaging out? Before I do, I have to somehow figure out what colored bin my trash is supposed to go into. I could just go to a restaurant and avoid the whole taking out the trash thing, but if I use a credit card and later want to pay the bill, I have to remember my online username and password. I guess I could go back to writing checks, but then I’d feel guilty about wasting paper. And speaking of trees, now I can’t figure out if I should actually buy a book I want to read at a bookstore, or just download it.

I hope bringing up the multitude of the once simple daily choices we all have hasn’t made you too anxious. If it has, maybe get up and take a drink of water. Tap.

Ask yourself, “How long does it take to write a screenplay?” Exactly. Too long to have to put up with nothing but rejection once it’s done. So why send anything out there that has no chance in hell?  Dig the climate out there among those who put up money for scripts and production.  There is no loose money right now.  Your competition is everybody who ever wrote anything, and a lot of them know the business, have connections, won awards, and already made studios a lot of money.  Everybody who writes scripts is trying to sell one.  The studios are looking to spend their big dollars on proven money-makers such as comic book franchises, sequels, and adaptations of popular best sellers, all of which they own.  Why would they buy your script?  Would you in their shoes?

Here are three things I think your script needs in order to be taken seriously:

-It needs to close the deal on the first five pages.  Ideally, it should be page one.  Failing that, page two.  Do not wait past page five to create something in the reader’s mind that will bring about a strong personal commitment to your script.  If you haven’t done something memorable by page five, why even bother to write page six?  Do not wait on unfunny jokes, voice-over narrative ramblings, poorly-conceived action, or unmotivated dialogue to put off getting into your story.  Nobody has the time, and those who take the time don’t have the attention spans.  It’s got to be a good read from the top down.

-It needs AT LEAST three surprises.  In the old days you could get by with one surprise at the end of the second act.   What kind of surprise?  I’m not talking about little surprises.  Think “The Crying Game.”  Or “Chinatown” (“My sister, my daughter…”).  Or “King’s Row” (“Where’s the rest of me?”).  Those movies only had one. Now I’d say three.  More would be better.  Surprises are hard.  They have to be both completely unexpected and unpredicted, yet somehow fated.  And each surprise has to deepen the story and raise the stakes, otherwise they merely distract.

-It needs to have a story, an actual story, not a rehash, not a series of shocks, not a lot of adventures, but a beginning-middle-end story, with an arc, a progressive series of set-ups and pay-offs that have ever deepening message, and a real meaning.  If you have a good story, you will be way out in front of maybe ninety-per-cent of what’s out there.  A good story is timeless, it will always be good.  Whatever the genre – romantic-comedy, action, horror, sci-fi – the screenplay will rise or fall on the basis of the story.  Story is the real art of screenwriting.

If your script has all three of these, go on.  Send it anywhere. If not, think about these elements when you start to rewrite.

As I travel the country speaking to new groups of writers and attending pitchfests and conferences outside of Los Angeles, a certain trend in the types of material I hear has become clear and it alludes to a huge cultural difference between those who live in L.A. and NY and those who live elsewhere.

At an L.A.-based pitching conference, perhaps 5 out of 100 pitches I receive revolve around spirituality, new age religion, or some faith-infused plotline. But at recent trips to Santa Fe, Portland, and Dallas, I would say at least 40% of the total projects I was pitched or consulted on were based on spirituality in some form, including some sort of Native American angle or practice. Since Native Americans currently only make up about 5% of the U.S. population, why do people think this would be a big commercial success?  And why is this observation of the connection between location and religion important? Because if no one in L.A. connects to this spiritual/new age/true believers movement, then why would we make a movie about it? Now, Angelinos are known for being progressive, spiritual and new age, but we’re more the organic, yoga, too lazy for real religion type of progressives. Screenwriters and producers in here worship a different deity…and it’s green and fits in your wallet. I am convinced that this difference in attitude towards religion is what’s keeping many writers from writing a commercial project – because they think religion IS commercial…and it’s not.

Writers often think that what affects their own personal life or beliefs will work for a broad audience and is therefore commercial, but that’s just not the case. You have always been told to avoid conversations about religion and politics at big dinner parties…well think of your marketplace as a big dinner party with lots of different types of people attending.  Religious types will often retort with how successful “Passion of the Christ” was – and it was – but that was an anomaly directed by Mel Gibson. Now, there is a huge book market for these types of projects and most of these pitches would make for great novels, just not movies. There is also a big and potentially profitable niche market for faith-based movies – “Fireproof” proved that. However, this is a mostly Christian market. There really is no market for new age spirituality or Native American tradition. I cannot think of one company that is actively looking for anything like this. If I’m wrong, please – companies – tell me, because I have about 100 pitches I’d like to send your way.

I respect how important spiritualism is to some people and if there is some sort of religious theme you would like to express through a completely unrelated story, that’s fine. Or maybe you read a passage in the Bible and it inspires an idea for a horror or action movie – that’s fine. Or maybe a character’s spiritual beliefs are a small part of his or her arc – that’s fine too. You just have to be aware of how much you are including the religious/spiritual aspects on the page.  I understand trying to bring one’s religious beliefs to a larger audience – but that’s what Republicans are for, not screenwriters. As a general rule, if you want to write a commercial and mainstream Hollywood movie, keep your religious beliefs in your heart and your head, not on the page.